A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Turkeys are obese

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops