why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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This is funny.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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