My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops