A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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