George W. Bush

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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A whole 'nother.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Hellen keller

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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