What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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