It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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