Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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