roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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