Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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