Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops