Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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