What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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