What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops