A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops