Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Women's rights

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops