What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops