If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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hi michael

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops