How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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What does water taste like? Water

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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diarrhea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops