roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

Drew Knowles is gay

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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