I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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black people

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops