How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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