whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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Knock, Knock Come in

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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hi michael

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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