Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

a man walks into a bar and dies

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

clamidia

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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