What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

Jebron Lames.

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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