You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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