Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops