What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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baskets

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Knock knock.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops