Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops