What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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who farted i did :]

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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minorities

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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your mom

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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