why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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Rush Limbaugh

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Dwarf Shortage

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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