What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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