See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Women's rights

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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