Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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