Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops