How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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