What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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