What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

XD Jackass.

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

Pigachu is a Porkemon.

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

what's worse than the holocaust living jews

What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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