what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops