Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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an dislexik nam rwote hits

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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thomas!!!!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops