Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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