What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

A seal walks into a club.

Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

save me from the nothing ive become

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...