jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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kushagra tyagi

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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