A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops