Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Terraria

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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