Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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69

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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