a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops