What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A jew enters a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops