A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

123457

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops