A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Irish sobriety

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Knock, Knock Come in

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John Cena for president

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What do you get when you mix a baby and chemical waste? A bad smoothie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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