What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I hate Jews The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops