A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why is cancer a big thing because its bad

thumb_up thumb_down +3

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops